Blonde woman in red polka-dot dress sits on her partner's face

What Is Face Sitting?

Facesitting is experiencing a cultural renaissance as the hashtag #FaceSitting grows in popularity on TikTok. Also known as "queening," it involves a person, usually someone with a vulva, sitting on their partner's face to perform oral sex. Contrary to potential misconceptions, you don't have to put all your weight on your partner unless both parties want to. If done correctly, this can be a consensual and enjoyable activity.

Facesitting is more than just a powerful orgasm; it's a celebration of sex, power dynamics, and a challenge to traditional notions of submission. It empowers individuals to control their own happiness. Mastering face sitting is a skill that requires care and attention. Let's explore what it means, its potential benefits to your sex life, and the simple guidelines provided on how to incorporate this sizzling sexual behavior.

The History of Face Sitting

Although the historical roots of facesitting are unclear, it is widespread in art, literature, and cultural depictions of intimate behaviors. While its origins may be rooted in Eastern culture, facesitting appears to have a universal history, manifesting itself differently in different societies. This behavior, which transcends cultural boundaries, was likely embraced by ancestors around the world, making it a fascinating and enduring aspect of human sexuality.

During the Victorian era, face sitting became popular, especially among the well-informed, with the introduction of the "Queen's Stool." I describe it as a stool with holes that allows a woman to sit down, exposing her genitals, while her male partner pleasures her from below. Even King Edward VII, known as "Dirty Bertie," reportedly owned a sex chair that may have been used during the Queen's reign. In contemporary art, the act remains a muse, with artists like Japanese artist Nao Harukawa making face-sitting a central theme in their work.

Why Is Facesitting Called the Queen?

While facesitting is a versatile act open to anyone, women tend to be the primary practitioners and are therefore known as "queens," and are especially prevalent in the BDSM community. In BDSM, the Queen symbolizes the dominance of the female Dom. The person sitting on the partner's face is usually the dominant partner, and when the male or the partner with the penis takes on this role, whether called "queen" or "king." Facesitting, or queening, is not unique to kinks. This is an inclusive and enjoyable event that people of any gender can take part in, regardless of their sexual orientation.

What’s the Appeal of Facesitting?

The appeal of facesitting lies in its power dynamics, which generally lend themselves to a wider range of kink. This involves a master/slave dynamic, with the dominant partner on top. The empowering aspect of the person taking on the role of "Queen", cultivating feelings of empowerment and confidence. Taking control of and witnessing your partner's pleasure near their genital area can create a satisfying experience that provides a sense of empowerment, especially for vulva owners.

For givers, facesitting offers a path to total submission, allowing them to relinquish control, experience the sensation of suffocation, and find pleasure in their partner's dominance. Although often associated with sexual kinks, face sitting transcends these boundaries and also promotes closeness and intimacy in ordinary relationships, offering a novel way to explore and connect.

Crucially, facesitting is considered a reliable way to achieve orgasm. The giver can control the pressure and movements, especially rubbing the clitoris against the partner's face. Proximity to various erogenous zones, including the perineum, anus, and vaginal opening, can enhance orgasm in some people.

Three Tips for Face Sitting

1. Make Your Expectations Clear

Before having a face-to-face session, openly discuss your wishes, wants, and needs with your partner. I suggest the importance of communicating specifically what turns you on, taking into account various postures and furniture that can enhance the experience. Since face sitting is unique to each person, embrace customization and ensure clear communication for a satisfying experience.

2. Take the right stance

As the "queen," kneel over your supine partner. Straddle your legs over their face and use your thigh muscles to hover your genitals over their mouth. It's important not to put your full weight on their face to avoid restricting breathing, which can be dangerous. The direction you face is entirely your choice and will not affect the experience.

Once in position, your partner can engage in cunnilingus activities such as sucking, kissing, and flicking your clitoris with their tongue. Use this empowering position to express your desires. Try different positions to find what works best for you. Take the opportunity to explore.

A sexy woman's white lace panties

3. Prioritize Safe Words

In any sex act, including kink play like facesitting, a verbal safeword is essential. However, given that the person sitting below may have difficulty speaking while facing the seated position, I recommend including a non-verbal safe word as a backup. The "three-pat technique" is recommended - if you feel uncomfortable or need a timeout, simply pat your partner's leg three times to ensure communication is clear and consensual.

Two Ways to Face Sit

1. Try the “One Knee” Technique

For those who are worried about sitting on someone else's face, especially about potential discomfort or suffocation, there is a reassuring option. Consider the "one knee" approach instead of the traditional half squat. I recommend this as an entry-level technique for first-time face sitters. When one knee is up, it replicates a similar effect while ensuring that the person's entire weight does not rest on their partner, providing a more comfortable introduction to the face-sitting position.

2. Embrace Flexibility

While face sitting can be fun, I suggest, be open to the idea that sitting for long periods of time may not be sustainable. Start or end in a facesitting position and be willing to change to other positions as needed. It's perfectly acceptable to change things up and explore different positions during a sexual encounter. The key is to discover what works best for you and your partner to make the experience enjoyable and satisfying.

Back to blog