Everyone experiences awkward moments during sex that can lead to a bad sexual experience. These unexpected situations often lead to people being shocked during sex, why does this happen? How should we deal with these awkward situations?
There are many factors in life that can cause sexual activities to become awkward, and if you have similar troubles, this article may help you. In this article I will take you through some of the common causes of awkward sex, how to prevent awkward situations during sex and more.
Navigating the Awkwardness of Asking
An important reason for feeling awkward during sexual activity is not knowing how to express your desires and needs. This is not just the realm of sexually sensitive topics, but a broader issue in the current communication context, which can be referred to your own attitudes and thoughts when picking out items such as chocolate bars, donuts, and so on, in the store. In general, it is not easy to get the answers you want quickly.
How to Inquire
Expressing our desires or needs is inherently challenging, and this difficulty is not exclusive to sexual situations. Society doesn't always encourage careful consideration of our wants and needs, leading to a lack of practice in this aspect. Many times, individuals tend to conform to the situation or prioritize fulfilling others' desires. The pressure to make the expected choice or guess what others anticipate can exacerbate the discomfort, especially when it comes to sex.
Most of us aren't used to talking about sex
For many of us, discussing sex is not a common occurrence. Whether due to cultural influences like being in the US or other factors, talking about the specific desires or preferences regarding sex can be challenging, even for those knowledgeable about the subject. Sex tends to carry significant stigma, evident when you think about your preferred swear word, often associated with sexual references.
Addressing our sexual desires can feel uncomfortable and exposed because societal norms dictate that sex is a private matter, not to be openly discussed. The education we receive about sex emphasizes its privacy and discourages conversation, creating an environment where discussing it becomes taboo or impolite. Sadly, the lack of comprehensive relationships and sex education exacerbates this issue. Instead, we're taught either to avoid discussing it or believe that if we can't talk about it, we shouldn't engage in it – a rather unhelpful stance.
Sex can often be awkward
Navigating sex for the first time or exploring new experiences can indeed feel awkward and unusual. Sex introduces activities that might be entirely unfamiliar, such as placing body parts in one's mouth, touching tongues, or engaging in physical activities in close proximity. It's an exposure to various sensations—unfamiliar sights, sounds, smells, and tastes—that might take some getting used to.
This awkwardness doesn't solely apply to first-time experiences; even after multiple sexual encounters, moments of awkwardness can persist. Regardless of the frequency or familiarity with a partner, there will be instances when things feel odd or don't quite go as planned. Surprisingly, these moments often lead to amusing or comical situations.
Unlike the depictions in porn, TV shows, or movies, sex scenes seldom illustrate the moments where laughter unexpectedly ensues. It could be due to attempting a challenging position resulting in laughter or a humorous mishap like a sudden fart or a pet entering the room.
However, this doesn't imply that sex should always be comedic—far from it. Instead, these occasions highlight that amidst the intimate moments, some instances may be lighthearted or amusing. It's during these 'off-script' moments that genuine connection and authenticity often blossom between partners.
Embracing the Awkward
In my perspective, the presence of occasional awkward moments in sex signifies its authenticity and genuine nature. Awkwardness is an inherent aspect of human experiences, and sex, being a deeply personal and vulnerable act, is not exempt from these moments. Instead of dismissing or avoiding these instances, I advocate for embracing them.
Denying the existence of awkward or cringe-worthy moments may mean overlooking opportunities for establishing deeper connections that contribute to the uniqueness and intimacy of sexual encounters. Rather than focusing solely on the physical act, I propose prioritizing meaningful connection and mutual enjoyment. It's crucial to recognize that individuals engage in sex for a variety of reasons, extending beyond mere pleasure.
Moreover, the pursuit of avoiding awkwardness might compel individuals to adhere strictly to a predefined script of how sex "should" unfold. Rigidly following such a script may create a facade of competence while potentially masking underlying issues. A performance-oriented approach could prioritize appearances over authentic experiences, potentially leading to non-consensual interactions, where the emphasis is on the act rather than the partner's well-being and experience.
Prioritizing Communication Over Discomfort
In my sincere belief, effective communication takes precedence over the pressure to adhere to a predetermined script, especially in the realm of sexual experiences. Whether involving detailed discussions about preferences before engaging or maintaining ongoing communication during the act, it's inevitable that awkward moments may arise.
While discussions about desires can be challenging, avoiding these conversations heightens the risk of unpleasant or non-consensual experiences. Genuine enjoyment in sexual encounters necessitates mutuality, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and respecting each other's needs and desires.
When confronted with an awkward situation, it becomes crucial to address it openly rather than dismissing it. If the experience deviates from expectations or feels uncomfortable, taking a brief pause is not only acceptable but encouraged. Expressing discomfort or acknowledging a humorous moment is part of fostering a healthy sexual environment. Instead of persisting in discomfort, verbalizing feelings with statements like "This feels awkward," "Let's take a break," or "I'm feeling a bit off" allows for a reset. Taking a slow and attentive approach, both to your partner and your own sensations, ensures a more considerate and enjoyable sexual experience.